tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5423318174382795592.post5944059249870811456..comments2023-11-02T08:26:45.077-04:00Comments on Life Between the Buns: where the rubber meets the road...Jacquelyn Stagerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04051731884653793193noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5423318174382795592.post-3727971159450493272010-01-20T14:36:31.121-05:002010-01-20T14:36:31.121-05:00Rose, we really think so much alike! Man has alway...Rose, we really think so much alike! Man has always had a rebellious nature, but all these PC excuses are just too much. You are so right in saying God has not relaxed His standards. <br /><br />I'm beginning to see that He wants to transform ME through this situation, since most likely it is not going to go away. <br /><br />He definitely is working on me, and for that I am thankfulJacquelyn Stagerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04051731884653793193noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5423318174382795592.post-44318836848647791742010-01-20T14:31:16.612-05:002010-01-20T14:31:16.612-05:00Wanda, it would be heartbreaking, but I know a mot...Wanda, it would be heartbreaking, but I know a mother's love or grandmother's love would still be there. I really appreciate that you and my other blogging friends are helping me work through this. It is such a process, and I do think I'm making progress every day.Jacquelyn Stagerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04051731884653793193noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5423318174382795592.post-7036377896220254232010-01-19T21:40:51.932-05:002010-01-19T21:40:51.932-05:00Actually Andy, viewing it the way you said, as fol...Actually Andy, viewing it the way you said, as folks who have not known the grip of grace on their lives, does help me feel more compassion. (Yes! GRACE! remember GRACE!) I have long said we can't expect non-believers to act how we expect believers to act. I'm considering writing a "feel-felt-found" letter: "I think I can understand how you feel...I once felt that way too...I have found..." Perhaps even going so far as revealing some of my own sinful past, and what I came to learn. I love what my friend Shirley has said here "in spite of their blatant disobedience, He still loves them and expects no less of us." The biggest miracle in all of this would be for me to rid me of myself and truly love them with the eyes of God. Thanks so much for your continued perspective. I really appreciate it.Jacquelyn Stagerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04051731884653793193noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5423318174382795592.post-87001204068356299352010-01-19T21:18:24.668-05:002010-01-19T21:18:24.668-05:00Mom,
Praying for you.
I think there's anot...Mom,<br /><br />Praying for you. <br /><br />I think there's another angle to all this that might help us think and pray and act appropriately. She's not just in the "family" category; she's in the "non-Christian" category. <br /><br />I was just talking with a friend yesterday who said he had to confront his sister about her sleeping with her boyfriend. He told her that he didn't approve, and that he wouldn't perform their wedding for them when he gets ordained. They needed, he insisted, to join a church and quit sleeping together. <br /><br />In this instance, I think my friend is treating his sister <i>only</i> like a sister, and not like a non-Christian (which she seems to be). We have to think through what it means for people to be apart from Christ, his promises, his hope, his church, and all the rest. And then I think we have to remember to reckon such folks not so much as family members who have been black sheep, but as those who don't know what it's like to have the grip of grace upon them. <br /><br />Viewing things this way doesn't make it easier, though. <br /><br />Love you,<br />ARSThe Cordial Churchmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14460228317958652523noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5423318174382795592.post-60100135831389946932010-01-19T05:47:02.190-05:002010-01-19T05:47:02.190-05:00Jacquelyn, your story is brutally honest and I kno...Jacquelyn, your story is brutally honest and I know it must have caused you considerable pain to write it out there for the whole world to see.<br />I am going old school here with my comment. There was a time when unacceptable behavior (whatever went against a persons beliefs and standards) was not tolerated in the home and those who would not abide by it were not welcomed until it changed. <br />Somewhere in all this PC mess everyone has relaxed their standards but one....GOD. It doesn't mean you don't love the person, it just means you stand for what you believe in.<br />We have a dear friend whose sister choose to have an affair, left her husband (a very godly young man) and is now living with the lover. Her brother, our friend, has banned her from his home. It pains him deeply but he said he would not condone or give approval for what she has done because it is a sin and he is not OK with it. <br />I am with you on not attending because it lends support to something you don't believe is morally right. Light has no fellowship with darkness. Love her, pray for her but don't compromise your beliefs. <br />You are right, this is where the rubber meets the road.<br />HUGS, <br />RoseRosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05682139599731771619noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5423318174382795592.post-23665740428235611392010-01-18T22:35:56.011-05:002010-01-18T22:35:56.011-05:00What would you do if it were your child or grandch...What would you do if it were your child or grandchild...make the decision based on that, as well as God!Wanda.....https://www.blogger.com/profile/00551160819558198338noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5423318174382795592.post-34597188321986745622010-01-18T20:42:52.982-05:002010-01-18T20:42:52.982-05:00Jess, thanks again. You have traveled a much more ...Jess, thanks again. You have traveled a much more difficult road than I have and I know I'm going to be counting on you in the days ahead to give me Godly advice, as you said, in building bridges while keeping healthy boundaries. For right now, a specific prayer request would be for guidance as I write my brother and sis-in-law a note to tell them we aren't attending, as well as my niece and her girlfriend. THANKSJacquelyn Stagerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04051731884653793193noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5423318174382795592.post-54417164546226857772010-01-18T20:17:36.850-05:002010-01-18T20:17:36.850-05:00"Through the eyes of God" and with your ..."Through the eyes of God" and with your very thoughtful heart, you WILL make a positive difference in your loved ones'lives.<br />Sometimes it is easy to confuse anger at sin and selfishness with anger at those who are causing us pain.<br />Here are some other lessons I've learned: Often our anger and frustration stem from fear of the pain they are bringing on themselves. <br />Concentrate on what is good, continually build bridges while maintaining healthy boundaries (a challenge).<br />Do everything IN Love and others will see Jesus in you.<br />Thank you for your prayers sweet friend.Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13742425014656556927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5423318174382795592.post-54617430175073778302010-01-18T15:29:42.210-05:002010-01-18T15:29:42.210-05:00Rebecca, thank you. I knew I could count on kind,...Rebecca, thank you. I knew I could count on kind, supportive words from you. Our sermon yesterday was also on God's holiness, which I think bolstered me to write the post. Here I stand. I can do no other! <br /><br />But to feel the love of the family of God around me is so precious...my own family is just entirely too close to the situation for now. It's like the proverbial elephant in the room. No one wants to talk about it!<br /><br />I don't know if I ever wished you happy birthday at Christmas with all that was going on over here, but I was thinking of you! So are you, ahem, 61? I will be this month!Jacquelyn Stagerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04051731884653793193noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5423318174382795592.post-1866843281466973562010-01-18T15:25:37.415-05:002010-01-18T15:25:37.415-05:00Jess, today is a day I had marked "MARGIN&quo...Jess, today is a day I had marked "MARGIN" on my calendar because I'm not babysitting and no errands for mom to do till tomorrow. My plans were to catch up around the house and some other things. But obviously God had other plans. He intended my faithful blogger friends to minister to my heart today. He is SO GOOD! Thank you for what you shared. I can't even imagine. But I can see the wisdom of what Andy told me, not to respond as "the victim". That alone will allow for a more loving response. I'm so sorry for how hard your situation was for your mother. How wise for you to share that outcome with me. If only we could always see others through the eyes of God! We must remember that He sees us through the lens of the cross, so we need to extend that kind of love to others. <br /><br />I know your surgery is on Wednesday and you are not far from my thoughts and are in my prayers. I will be most anxious to hear how you are doing, precious friend!Jacquelyn Stagerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04051731884653793193noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5423318174382795592.post-3735805435581638272010-01-18T15:00:39.328-05:002010-01-18T15:00:39.328-05:00Having just studied the holiness of God in prep. f...Having just studied the holiness of God in prep. for teaching Sunday School this past Sunday, my heart is even more pained to read about your situation. Oh, how the heart of God must break - and ours along with His. What a dangerous place to be in - such a public and deliberate decision to sin. I AM praying for you and many others who are affected by this situation.<br /><br />(It was good to read your insights and synonym for "passion" just a minute ago. I definitely recommend a rebounder. I "luckily" found mine at a thrift store for $5! I've already gotten at least 10x the cost out of it.)Rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08740950362293427086noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5423318174382795592.post-19079474254946009172010-01-18T14:55:14.691-05:002010-01-18T14:55:14.691-05:00Oh Jacque,
Bless you for sharing something so very...Oh Jacque,<br />Bless you for sharing something so very personal and painful. <br />I think the above comment from Shirl addresses the sin issue so well.<br />And the fact that your Pastor son encouraged you not to be the victim is true insight. And your response is precious.<br />In my case, I have a sibling that is transgender and I have seen the pain caused by that decision,and how it's affected the different members of my family. Those of us who have committed to loving "her" and praying for God's intervention and blessing in "her" life have been so much healthier. My mother on the other hand, always saw my sibling's actions as an affront to her. Instead of discerning that this deception and rebellion was between my sibling and God, my Mom took it personally. I understand how easily that happens, but it not only caused her to say mean things, but it ate her up emotionally.<br />I'm not insinuating that you are in a similar position, only reflecting on the variety of responses I've seen to the decisions of loved ones.<br />No, don't ever compromise on the truth, God's commands. Grieve that your niece is so deceived and is bolstered by a culture that has no moral compass. But ask God for ways to show love to your niece because indeed she IS loved by God and He longs to reach her through those who know Him. <br />There is a reason that "LOVE covers a multitude of sins." <br />LOVE is God's motivation for salvation. <br />May HE inspire you with loving ideas to navigate this whole mess and with the faith to believe that HE can bring good out of evil and deliverance out of rebellion.<br />Love you.Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13742425014656556927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5423318174382795592.post-31192186095093183872010-01-18T14:43:40.790-05:002010-01-18T14:43:40.790-05:00Shirley, thank you so much for this thoughtful com...Shirley, thank you so much for this thoughtful comment. (I'm typing through some tears here)<br />You said it all so much better than I could. I will read what you said over and over. You are so right. Bless you.Jacquelyn Stagerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04051731884653793193noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5423318174382795592.post-63408435221525992422010-01-18T14:27:30.080-05:002010-01-18T14:27:30.080-05:00I know you must be in so much pain and turmoil. Th...I know you must be in so much pain and turmoil. There is the side of you that loves family, but there is that within you that knows the choices they are making are not God's best and that with choices of that sort come consequences. It is God they are disobeying. There is a reason He calls it abominable behavior. Even so...in spite of their blatant disobedience, He still loves them and expects no less of us. However, there is a difference between loving someone and actively supporting their behavior. If someone we loved was having an affair, I don't believe we would drive them to the hotel where they were going to meet their lover, would we? <br /><br />It's a difficult situation to be in...to love the person but not the sin. And, we have to remember that all sin, including our own, is equal in the eyes of God--it is all about disobedience to Him and what He declares to be best for us. That puts all of us on a pretty level playing field I think.<br /><br />Hugs to you. Blessings to you. God's peace and strength to you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com