"Personality is what you are to others..."

Today is my mom's 83rd birthday!  And I want her to know I've not forgotten what she wrote in my autograph book more than 50 years ago:

"Personality is what you are to others, character is what you are."

So often we are judged by our outward appearances...our looks, our style of dress, how much we weigh, how we present ourselves publicly, and so forth.  As a teenager,  one of my close friends told me, "if it wasn't for your hair...you would be...nothing! Really?  I laugh at that memory now.  I know she was trying to compliment me and in an awkward way was saying that I did a pretty good job with my hair style and it was one of my best outward features.  

Sometimes even now friends make comments to me like "you need to get a life" or "you need to get out more often".  When I hear that sort of thing, I just accept that they are making a judgment about an aspect of my personality that they can see outwardly.

My brother Don, who happens to be fighting a very serious form of cancer, updated his blog recently and talks about risking intimacy in relationships. We don't always let the barriers down and allow others to see us up close and personal. Sometimes I hesitate to "show myself" because I don't want to seem like I am trying to draw attention to myself or make it look like I am asking for a pat on the back.  It's often more comfortable just to keep things between me and God.

I also don't like rejection (who DOES?!) and I've lived enough years now to fully know that not everyone will accept me for who I really am, what I have to say, or love me in spite of my best (and often flawed) attempts at communicating.  Still, being misunderstood is painful.

Having said all of the above, I want to share a couple things that gave me a lot of personal joy yesterday.  My hubby and I took a couple of hours to pick up donated casseroles, soups, and cookies from our church and deliver them to an inner city ministry.  We had opportunity to chat with the house mom and a young girl doing some community service as part of her legal obligation.  After that, we stopped at a local restaurant and picked up some food which we delivered to a friend who is staying day and night at the children's hospital with her special needs son who was admitted with breathing problems, and her 2 month old nursing daughter.  Her other two children are with their grandmother.  My friend isn't married and can't work, so finances are very limited and she simply could not afford to buy meals at the hospital.  

I haven't stopped to analyze why yesterday was so meaningful to me personally or why I felt such joy in serving others.  But if I had to guess, I would say it is probably because in spite of our own job uncertainty and my brother's health crisis, and a few other things going on that keep me on my knees, I realized again how very blessed I have been in so many ways.  There's just something about getting close enough to the real life situations of others that makes you realize you don't have it so bad, in spite of frustrating or even agonizing circumstances.  

So I want to say "thank you Mom!" for instilling in me very early on that character development is far more important than any of the things that people see about my personality.  

"...for man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart." I Samuel 16:7

Life is good between the buns...

One of my sweet friends commented recently about my being on-the-go a lot lately.  It's true that life has been busy.  I'm still on my "grand-maternity leave" before I start babysitting again near the end of June.  So while I've been busy catching up with friends and family, organizing around the house, shopping, and doing some ministry-related things, I've had a little more "down time" than usual as well.  Mission accomplished!  My next goal is to find a regular time to read and write.  I may have to leave my house to do this...it seems there is always something to distract me from these things when I'm at home.  Anyone have a suggestion for me here?

In the meantime, let me share what I've been up to.  Our church recently changed it's name from Hudson Community Chapel to Christ Community Chapel.  The reason for this is because we now have four campuses in  four different cities within two adjoining counties. Our new name reflects our unity as one church in several locations.  Our newest campus is in the Highland Square area of Akron, OH and it has been up and running for about a month now.  Hubby and I have been showing our support by attending there, and trying to discern if it is where we should be for a season.  It's a very exciting time in the life of our church, to plant a campus in the middle of an ethnically and socially diverse area of the city.  There is much work to be done and much to learn, so if we end up there, it definitely will not be for the purpose of warming a pew.  Prayers for direction would be appreciated!

My hubby and I maintain a blog for our church's local outreach ministries, and we are part of the Local Outreach team as well.  So we get opportunities to hear, see, and do local ministry related things and we are learning all the time about folks who are serving and those being served.  One of the things I've done recently is help organize a team of ladies who are willing to make casseroles, soups, and cookies that are delivered once a month to Rahab Ministries in Akron. Currently our church supports eight local faith-based ministries, and we hope to expand that number in the future as God opens doors and opportunities.

Something I've been doing on my "grand maternity leave" is trying to get a little one-on-one time with the Ohio grands.  Ethan is almost 2 1/2, and we recently spent a day together.  He is a precious and smart little boy, strong and full of energy too! 

My time with baby Eva, now 5 1/2 weeks old, has been necessarily limited so far, but I've had little spurts of time with her now and then while her mommy runs a few errands.  She is adorable and growing so fast I can hardly stand it.

Eva's first Easter

Last weekend I was blessed by a friend to receive two tickets to the Ohio Ballet.  So it was a date for Elylah and me.  She loves the theater and we had a great time enjoying The Wizard of Oz!

Here is my friend, Kim, and her daughter Sarah, who played multiple roles in this performance.

 I can't forget to tell you I got to attend the ROYAL WEDDING!!!

OK, so it was from the comfort of my family room...I invited my mom and two friends, Rachel and Jennifer, and we enjoyed a little tea party while we watched!

Yesterday my mom and I and three of my aunts went out to lunch at a special Italian restaurant, Papa Joe's.  We basically were honoring my dad's sister, Aunt Angie, who will turn 92 next week.  Doesn't she look great?

Another of dad's sisters, Aunt Mary Ann, who turns 80 this year, and my mom, 82

me with an aunt-by-choice, Helen, 91, who is Aunt Angie's sister-in-law

I have to tell you that these mature ladies inspire me.  They are full of life, and always look put together.  Aunt Mary Ann still has her hubby, Uncle Ed, who has some health challenges.  The other three are widows and each still live in their own homes.  Mom doesn't drive at all anymore; Aunt Angie drives minimally.  Both of them suffer from macular degeneration but otherwise are quite healthy. Aunt Helen has such great vision that she doesn't even need reading glasses!

For the Mother's Day weekend kick-off, I went to a lovely tea today with my mother-in-law.  It was held at her church.

Olena Stager, 85

For entertainment, this group, The Stairwell Singers, sang a medley of sacred music.  They were accompanied by piano, flute, and cello. Now that was a real treat!

Life is good between the buns...the only thing that could make it better is for my South Carolina family to be visiting, which we are hoping will happen soon.  With their 3rd little boy just 5 1/2 weeks old, Ellie's bow tie business, and Andy just starting a new one year venture, being mentored by a church planter, I need to be  patient.  I know many of you are away from parts of your family too.  It doesn't get easier, does it?

Happy Birthday to Me!

For some reason I'm usually a hard person to surprise. That's sad, because I LOVE surprises! Yesterday I found a really nice one over at Rebecca's blog where she featured me on my birthday. That sure made me feel loved and special and was a sweet way to start my day! (thanks again Rebecca!)

It was a babysitting day for me, and my five year old granddaughter insisted she was going to make me a cake "all by myself!" I told her she could do that in the afternoon...that we needed to make breakfast first. So she set out to make some pancakes from scratch...

I like mine with peanut butter and maple syrup! I love it that she loves playing in the kitchen with me.

A little later on she was ready to do the cake. I told her I'd like to try a Red Velvet Cake with Fluffy White Frosting. She asked me to just set all the ingredients on the counter and she could handle it. Ah...not quite so fast there sweetie :) I did the measuring and she did the dumping, pouring, and stirring. The recipe for the cake was given to me by my aunt back in 1967, the year I graduated from high school! I didn't have buttermilk, so I "made" some by adding vinegar to the milk. The frosting recipe I took off the internet.

Red Velvet Cake

2 oz. red food coloring (usually 4 liquid bottles) *

3 tablespoons cocoa

1/2 cup shortening

1 1/2 cups granulated sugar

2 eggs

1 cup buttermilk (or put 1 Tbsp. vinegar in a 1 cup measure and add milk to make 1 cup liquid)

2 1/4 cups sifted cake flour (or regular white flour)

1/4 tsp. salt

1 tsp. vanilla

1 tablespoon vinegar

1 tsp. baking soda

Mix food coloring and cocoa to make a paste and let stand. Cream shortening, sugar, eggs, then add cocoa paste. Beat well. Add buttermilk, flour, salt and vanilla. Beat well. Add vinegar and soda, then mix by hand.

Pour batter into two 8” greased and floured round cake pans. Bake in 350℉ preheated oven for 30 minutes.

*I used the 2 1/2 bottles I had in the house and it was plenty.

Fluffy White Frosting

1 cup milk

2 tablespoons flour

1 cup unsalted butter

1 cup confectioners' sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

Combine milk and flour in saucepan and cook till thickened, stirring occasionally. Cool. Cream butter, sugar, and vanilla with beater. Add milk/flour mixture. Beat until frosting thickens and becomes fluffy.

This was really easy to make and oh so delicious! I told Elylah it was the best birthday cake I ever tasted, and she said "well you're the best grandma!" ahh...

My mom had us over in the evening for a birthday dinner...

And she surprised me with a yummy pineapple upside down cake, which was always my dad's favorite (big smile)...

The kids entertained us with this game of ring toss (a paper towel holder and a bunch of bangle bracelets)...

I started to sit down by hubby and the babydoll said, "hey, I was going to sit there!" So funny...

Another birthday surprise that I received came in the mail from an old friend that I have reconnected with on Facebook. Thank you Leslie!

Hubby has an electric throw on mail order for me. All the stores were out of them...(can you imagine THAT?) Then there was a Starbucks gift card from my kids...and a dozen or so birthday cards...

One of my funniest cards I received was from an old friend who is just about my age. It said: "I know your real hair color, your real weight, and your real age...guess you're stuck being nice to me the rest of your life."

The last surprise of "my" day was a nice long phone conversation with my son who lives in SC.

I had several birthday "outings" with family and friends that were on the calendar for this weekend. I had to take a rain check on all of them because...I ended up coming down with a head cold of some kind. So I'm lying low for a couple of days so I can get well.

Thanks for sharing my day with me!

Awake my soul and smell the coffee...

I think it started about the time I turned 50 years of age. I really didn’t “feel” as old as the over-the-hill jokes that came my way implied I should. But I did the math and by no stretch of the imagination could I any longer consider myself “middle-aged”. I don’t personally know anyone who has turned 100 years old, though I know there are a few out there.

But, I certainly did not consider myself as “elderly” either. So what WAS I anyway? Or rather, WHERE was I on this timeline called life? While no one is guaranteed the number of years they will live on this earth, I decided to mentally divide up the years of life into quarters. In order for this to work, I had to make an assumption on the length of my life. So I picked 80 years. After all, the Bible says in Psalm 90:10:

“The length of our days is seventy years-

or eighty, if we have the strength...”

It will be noted that by choosing 80 years as my life span that I made another assumption too: that I would be one of the “strong” ones. If I’m granted any more years than 80, I would just consider it a plus. That’s where assumption number three comes into play. My grandparents and my parents have lived past the octogenarian mark. Surely I will too.

Next I decided to name the four quarters of life by using the names of the seasons. Up to age 20 would be called spring; 21 to 40 would be summer; 41 to 60 would be the autumn season; and 61 to 80 would be the winter of life. The term “elderly” would only apply to those past 80 who could no longer get around and live an active life. My only relative that met this criteria was my grandmother, and that was in her 93rd year.

All this kind of thinking took place about a dozen years ago. During the years since, thankfully I have become less preoccupied with trying to put my life on a timeline and figuring out where I might be. Instead, I have come to understand this with certainty: no matter how many years I might have left on this planet, they surely were fewer than the number of years I have already lived. And so I have been busy trying to live them to the fullest.

The shift in thinking was subtle, but very real. Somewhere along the way I have gained an increasing awareness that life is short no matter how long one might live, and that I wanted to major in the majors.

A lot has happened in my life since the year I turned 50. My kids grew up, went to college, got married, had kids of their own, and now have their own mortgages. My father died, my mother was declared legally blind, and I became a part-time care-giver for her and for a couple of my grandchildren. My empty nest doesn’t seem the least bit empty, I still get up early to make breakfast and see my husband off to work, and my car racks up as many miles as it did when I was a taxi driver for the kids. I’m playing with a life long dream by doing a little writing here and there, and I’m tending to my spiritual life daily. I have peace with God and make time to serve Him by serving others.

Some of my friends don’t approve of my lifestyle. Many of them think I should be living more for myself, whatever that means. Actually in many ways I am living more for myself...I’m doing the things that matter to me the most, even though my energy level obviously can’t compete with what it used to be.

I was talking to an older pastor’s wife a couple of years ago, and her advice was to “run the last lap the best”. And that is what I want to do. I want to live each day intentionally and with the full knowledge that every day is a gift. I want to keep a short account of offenses. I want to leave some kind of legacy that will matter to someone. I can’t assume anything about when my life on earth might end, except that it is inevitable that someday it will. And by my own definition, I am in the winter of my life. I’m OK with that.

on the lighter side...random ramblings...

Our SC family left to go back home the Monday after Thanksgiving. In the week following several of us got a stomach virus and so my normal time to start decorating for Christmas was delayed. I'm still working on it, but it will be greatly scaled back this year. I'm ok with that.

Our house has nine windows in the front and last year at the after-Christmas sales I purchased new window wreaths for $2. each. Ours had seen 15 Ohio winters and were a bit worse for wear. I was lucky enough to find nine foot spools of ribbon for 68 cents each, and used one spool for each new bow I needed to make...10 altogether since I needed one for the front door wreath too.

My hubby was good enough to hang all the wreaths in spite of snow blowing in his face and into the house, since we hang them on the outside, from the inside. It was a pretty big deal. Thanks Bob!

My niece, who is in college, redesigns and makes her own jewelry. She had her second annual sale and I got these beautiful earrings for only $3. Aren't they great?

Hubby got our tree set up and I called for the local grands to come over and "help" me decorate it.

It took several days, but we got it done!

This past weekend we enjoyed a beautiful Christmas concert at our church...

and we came back to our house for supper and a little birthday party for our granddaughter, who turns 5 on Christmas Eve...

Mainly we've been dealing with the snowy, cold weather here. Here are some of the things we've done to fill our time:

Supposedly the severe weather will only last another couple of days. I have my shopping done (I think) and look forward to getting things wrapped. I'd like to bake a couple batches of cookies and do a few other little things, but mostly I'm very content this year to enjoy home, family, and friends for the holidays.

As Rebecca over at Life and Godliness has stated it so well, I want to keep this season sane, simple, and sacred. So far, so good!