Have you lost your life?

Sometimes my life can get incredibly busy, like lately.  A little over a week ago, I was picking up some meals donated by a sweet lady from my church to be delivered to a local outreach ministry.  Though the temperature was near zero, the sun was out.  Due to some unexpected cicumstances, I got home earlier than I thought I would,  and I was relishing the idea of a little "free" time.  That was when I noticed the blinking light on the answering machine.

My mother-in-law, almost 85, had taken a fall and was in the ER.  After a couple quick phone calls, I was out the door again.  By the time I got back home many hours later, the roast beef I had in the oven, even though on "time bake" was pretty much inedible.  

The next two days were spent babysitting two of my grands, and the evenings were spent at the hospital.  My hubby is an "only" so we are "it".  On Friday, a "day off",  I had previously scheduled to do some things with my mom, who no longer can drive because of her macular degeneration.  It was also our younger son's birthday and we had promised to keep the grands overnight so my son and daughter-in-law could have a date night.  That extended half-way into Saturday, so hubby went to see his mom without me.  We had planned to celebrate Valentine's Day by going out to dinner and to a movie that night and we did keep our date!  Sunday was another visit to the hospital, and a previous obligation to serve at our church in the evening.  It was a "Night Out" for younger married couples, and our small group had volunteered to help with child-care.  Our assignment was to help entertain about 5o Kindergarteners and First Graders for 1 1/2 hours!  I hit the ground running again on Monday as the grands arrived before 8 am, did my 9 hours, and when hubby got home at 9:40 pm, I surprised him with supper in bed and a few other things you can read about at the tail end of  THIS post.  Tuesday, my day "off", I went back to the hospital and then did my grocery shopping.  Yesterday I babysat again all day, then back to the hospital last night.  The grands should arrive here again at any minute.  I'm making a meal today for a friend who had surgery on Monday, and I still have a writing assignment to polish up for my writer's group on Saturday morning, a surprise birthday party Saturday night, and a wedding shower to attend on Sunday.  Someone from the hospital wants to meet with us this weekend to discuss my mother-in-law's situation.  

I'm frequently told by family and friends that I don't "have a life".  Really?  My response to them is "this IS my life!"  It's not exactly the life I thought I would have when I was old enough to collect Social Security, but here I am, and I'm making the most of it.  Every day is a gift and I never want to take it for granted.  I want to look forward with confidence and back without regrets.  I want to run the last lap the best.  My house isn't as clean or as organized as I wish it was.  My energy level isn't where it used to be.  But my moments and my days are blessed with a sweetness that money can't buy.  Just yesterday I "caught" my 5 year old granddaughter about to blow out the candle I had burning in the bathroom.  I watched as she paused, then gently and carefully put the flame out.  I asked her if she made a wish.  "Yes Grandma!"  I asked her what she wished for.  "I wished that you will love me forever!"  Priceless.

The 79 year old lady who shares the hospital room with my mother-in-law had her leg amputated last week.  She's going home today to face her life with many unexpected adjustments to make.  I've had a couple of conversations with her, and I'm amazed at her attitude.  She has accepted what life has dealt her.  We talked about the importance of living each day to the fullest because we do not know what tomorrow might bring us, though none of it is a surprise to God.

In spite of busyness, my life in the sandwich generation offers many opportunities for teachable moments and also for preaching the gospel, with or without words.  I woke up this morning with a scripture passage on my mind, one that helps me get through my busy days, or any days for that matter.  

"...Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.  For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.  What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what he has done."  Matthew 26:24-27 NIV

Have you lost your life?

Life's frustrations can lend perspective...

"You can pull your hair out over it, but then you'll just have a bald head."

That was a favorite saying of an older lady friend who I worked with years ago.

It's only Thursday, but it's the end of my "work" week. And I'm ready for it. By Monday night I was feeling stressed and the week had only begun!

For starters, our central air conditioning died (again). It's only 3 years old, and we've had to call the Company back several times since it was installed. Each time, they added more coolant and it worked again, for a while. Being a very reputable Company in our area, they have not charged us a penny for all these service visits. They knew there was a leak somewhere, and said when it got "big enough" they would be able to find it.

Not only did I have to deal with a hot house on Monday, but we also lost our land line and internet service! I mean it went totally dead. At first I thought it was just something acting up with our internet router, because we've had problems with it dropping the signal (too often!). I was irritated because I had bills to pay and like most of us, I've become pretty internet dependent. Techy that I'm not, I played around with everything I could think of and finally realized I had no internet because I had no phone service. Going to a library or other public place to use the free wireless was not an option, as I had the two grandkids here for the day.

So, I called the phone company, only to be made aware that things aren't like they were in the "old days" when you could call a local number and they would tell you if they were experiencing problems in your area. Now you don't even get to talk to a real person. I listened to all the options and of course none of them really applied. Eventually, without talking to a single living soul, I was able to file a service complaint and was "told" the problem would be fixed by Thursday night. I was also "told" the minimum charge, if the problem was found to be in my house, would be about $75! I felt trapped, like a caged animal. What choice did I have?

So while I was dealing with household matters anyway, and utilities in particular, I decided to call the gas company and complain about the $800+ credit that was building up on our account. I've always preferred paying with the budget system because we can have some pretty unpredictable winters here in NE Ohio, and while I sure like to be cool in the summer, I equally love to be warm in winter, and that can get expensive! So I pay a "budget" amount based on past usage, and the gas company has always adjusted it periodically to keep it in line. I knew the credit they were showing was totally unreasonable, and I finally had a chance last weekend to look over my past bills. I added up the "actual" charges for the previous twelve month period, and found the average to be just about $100 per month less than what the gas company is currently saying. I don't know about you, but that's a lot of money to me.

I suddenly felt empowered instead of trapped, and made the call (think napping children). I put up with all the computer generated options until I finally got a real person on the line. I told them I wanted off their budget plan and why, and that thank you very much, but I will figure out my own budget. Then I asked them to please cut me a check and send me back my money they were holding on to. All of a sudden, the customer service person couldn't help me anymore, because, guess what? My name wasn't on the account. My husband would have to call them (from work) and he is not nearly as patient as I am (LOL). But for $800, he did it. And supposedly we will get our money back in about two weeks.

Thus ended my Monday. Well, not quite. Hubby had an equally rough day at work and ended up having to stay (very) late at the office. Had our internet been working, he could have brought the extra work home. Frustrating, since he works an hour's drive away. Let's just say we finally ate supper at 10 pm, I left the dirty dishes, and we went to bed!

Tuesday came, and it was not a babysitting day, so even though I had no air conditioning and no internet, I was able to sit at the kitchen table and work on the bills and overhauling our family budget the old-fashioned way--with a pen and a calculator--while I waited for the air conditioning company to come out. They said they'd arrive between 9 am and 12 noon, and by golly, the serviceman arrived shortly after 9. I continued to work at the table for the next three hours until I heard a piercing "beep, beep, beep" and realized it meant the coolant leak was found! It was only a short time later that the house began to cool off again. Yippee! And for "no charge".

Still, I thought it would be a good opportunity to go off to Border's or some place and take my laptop with me. I needed a "fix" like a druggie needs heroine, I'm ashamed to say. No email access, no Twitter, no Facebook, no blogging--it was driving me crazy. Since I began babysitting grandchildren three days a week, and helping to care for my fairly recently widowed and legally blind mom on the other two days, the computer has really become my connection to the outside world. So off I went, and I nursed a cup of coffee for a couple of hours while I had some much needed "time out".

Wednesday came, and I got the kids again. We picked my mom up and we all ended up having a great day. By the time I took everybody home, I still had enough energy to stop for some groceries and come home and make supper. In spite of still not having the phone or the internet, we had a comfortable house. I guess air conditioning trumps the internet, though it's close (smile). My attitude is starting to improve...

Thursday, today, the phone company repairman called. He said he was just around the corner and would be right over. I was in the middle of feeding the grandkids breakfast and I was feeling a mixture of hope and dread. What would he find the problem to be? Would it be something really simple that we should have been able to fix ourselves (like the time my hubby called the computer repair service at work only to find out he didn't have the thing plugged in) and end up having to pay the $75+? The young man was so friendly when I answered the doorbell that he completely put me at ease. There really IS something about dealing with a problem face-to-face with a real human being. I knew it would be alright no matter what. He explained what he would be doing outside, and assured me if I saw his truck leave, he was just going around the corner to the utility box and he'd be back. And he was, within several minutes. The problem was solved just like "that" and no charge to us.

On Monday night, one of my sisters happened to stop over and she was telling me how she had been to calling hours for the son of someone she works with. The young man had a troubled history, and had moved back home, but was not getting along with his mom. The parents decided to go away for the weekend to get away from the stress of it all. While gone, they received an emergency call that their house was on fire. Firefighters responded, but were unaware the young man was in an upstairs room, passed out from drugs or alcohol, and he died.

Now that I am past all the "crises" of my week and have had a chance to reflect, things are coming into perspective. Yes, I was inconvenienced. No, life isn't always fair. But my problems were so minor by comparison, and they were able to be fixed. I can only imagine the grief and pain this family will live with for a long time to come. I hope you will join me in saying a prayer for them.

Hopefully the next time my life is interrupted by some inconvenience, I will remember how blessed I really am. All the stuff that so consumed my thoughts, energy, and time this past week were just temporary annoyances in the eternal scheme of things. How sad that we have come to think of modern conveniences to be almost life and death matters! What really will count in the long run is, was I kind to the people whose paths crossed mine this week? Was I patient? Did I take the time to show love to anyone at all?

Here is a quote that I've frequently seen on Facebook. I don't know who the original author is, but it sure rings true: "Be kinder than necessary for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." ~~II Corinthians 4:17-18 NIV

*I was just ready to publish this, and the phone rang. Hubby has a flat tire...I'm not kidding...

it was a great day for the flea market...

I gathered up the two grands I babysit and my mom and we took off this morning for the Hartville Flea Market. It sure got HOT out there, but it is such a fun summertime thing to do. I only took $20 in cash with me so I wouldn't go crazy...

I really just wanted some fresh veggies, but I left the sweet corn as I thought it was priced too high at $3-$3.50 for 13. Here's what I did buy in the food department:

4 large beefsteak tomatoes, $2.

Two green zucchini's for $1. and a yellow zucchini for $1. I've never tried the yellow before, but I'm told it's "sweeter".

I spotted these at the indoor market--I love these spaetzles but almost never buy them because they are about $4 a box at the grocery store. Picked a box up for $1.49 because it was a little dented (but not open).

Once inside where it is air-conditioned, we had a light lunch and the kids had rainbow sherbet.

Elylah showing her great-grandma her colored tongue...

Here are the rest of my finds-of-the-day:

A 7 inch pewter plate (Wilton, PA) for...$2!!!!!

A tiny Jenny Lind Wheaton bottle to go with others I have...Elylah spotted this...and it cost only $1.

Priced at $1 each, the kids got to pick out one beanie a piece. Elylah has a little collection of small bears (mostly pink) and she names each one...this one is now called "Daisy"...and Ethan thinks this is Clifford the Big Red Dog!

For another dollar, Elylah choose this pinwheel...

For Ethan, can you believe genuine Thomas-the-Tank Engines and a caboose for $1 each?! He already has tracks from Ikea that work great with the Thomas stuff, thanks to Aunt Ellie and Uncle Andy last Christmas...

The tiny bit of change I had left, we threw in this young man's guitar case...

and headed home to Tallmadge... I love hot summer days when I take the time to do something just for fun! Today was one of those!

Historic Old Town Hall (1859)

Tallmadge Circle

Dear blogger friends, all...

Especially to Shirley, Brenda, Jess, Rose, Patrina, Rebecca, Wanda, Pat & Jamey who took the time to comment on my last post. I thank you all for those heartfelt thoughts and words. I appreciate each and every one of you and I felt like we were all sitting around a table, enjoying coffee and conversation. (Oh if that would ever be possible, how wonderful would that be!)

I do not consider blogger friendships to be "virtual" because they are really real! We may not have met in person, but we have shared our days and parts of our real lives with each other. When my hubby and I took a day trip recently to Northwest Ohio, I knew I was very close to Rebecca's stomping grounds, for example, and she was on my mind throughout that day! God can use methods we can't even conceive of to brighten our days and bless us in so many little ways. And blogger friendships have blessed me more than I can even begin to describe.

I thank you all for giving me "permission" to prioritize my days as I need to without having to feel like a failure for not keeping up with blogging the way my heart would take me if I let it run wild!

I never thought it would be like this when I got into my '60's...But my husband still works a full-time job an hour from home, which translates into 12 hour days for him, and precious little time for us to share on a daily basis.

As you know, I have the two grandchildren here 3 days a week. I don't try to do much of anything else when they are here except fully devote myself to them. From comments I have heard from those of you whose grands have grown up already, I'm getting the picture that grandparenting is much like parenting in the respect that those precious formative years are fleeting, and I want to make the most of every minute I have with them.

With part of our family living in South Carolina, we are constantly looking to the "next" time we can be together...which it looks like my daughter-in-love will bring the boys up here around Memorial Day! So more busyness coming up, but I will live intentionally through every moment of it and savor it like, uh, sweet tea!

My mom, who is 81 now, is facing more challenges as she continues to deal with widowhood, macular degeneration, forgetfulness, an increasing number of doctor appointments, and frustration at not being able to drive any longer. A good chunk of my time now goes to helping her get around. I'm grateful I am in a position to do this for her in spite of the physical and emotional components that go along with looking out for aging parents. Someone told me recently that "you'll never regret anything you do for your parents" and I know I feel that way about my dad, who has been gone for two years now. It is such a blessing not to have to live with regrets.

So it all brings me back to where I started originally with this blog: my life in the sandwich generation! While some have told me I don't "have" a life, I prefer to say, "this IS my life." And I thank you one and all for sharing it with me. God bless you!

How does Jesus get into your heart, Grandma?

I babysat the two grands yesterday. They have been so stir-crazy lately, with the Ohio winter keeping them cooped up inside the house. We've been watching too many DVDs and cartoons, I'm ashamed to admit. They haven't wanted to nap much, probably because they just aren't getting enough physical activity lately. But the groundhog saw his shadow yesterday, so six more weeks of winter...groan...

So I was pleasantly surprised when after lunch they both actually went down at the same time and slept at the same time. The little guy's nap lasted exactly 20 minutes, long enough for me to catch up with my mom on the phone. Babydoll slept for a whole hour. So 14 month old Ethan got some special one-on-one with me and seemed happier for it. When four year old Elylah got up, she seemed like a truly transformed little girl. I mean, I haven't seen her that calm since before the holidays. An hour's rest did her wonders.

We played with some toys for a little while, and then it was time to get the coats and boots on them and take them home.

While driving across town, Ethan was totally in a trance and sat quietly in the car seat happily covered with his favorite dinosaur blankey. Elylah was so cheerful I didn't want to say or do anything to break the spell. So whatever she wanted to talk about was fine with me. I asked her if she wanted to sing. Yes, she did. The song about the stable. So we sang "Away in a Manger" a couple times. Then she reminded me that it was almost Spring, and that God made all the seasons.

Out of the blue, she then posed the question with the innocense of a child: "How does Jesus get into your heart, Grandma?"

"Well," I said, "you just pray and ask Him to come in, and then He will always be with you to help you. He will never leave you. Then you tell Him you are sorry for all the bad things you have done, and He forgives you."

"But how does He get in?"

"Well, you can't see Him. He comes in by His Spirit!"

"I'm going to do that as soon as I get home."

"You can pray to Jesus anytime. He always hears you. You can pray to Him right now in the car if you want."

So I watch through my rear view mirror as I'm trying to drive. She quietly prays. "Dear Jesus, please come into my heart. I'm sorry for all the bad things that I've done."

Then she announces to me: "I saw Jesus when I was born."

"You did?"

"Yes. He knew me before I was born!"

"For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:13-16

What an awesome privilege to witness this precious moment. What a blessing straight from God to me. So like Him to seek out His little lamb and whisper His love to her longing heart. No wonder Jesus told us we needed to become like little children.

"...the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"

He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me."

Matthew 18:1-5

just can't help myself...

Had the two grands here four days this week, with my camera always at the ready. Please indulge me just a few more pictures!

Elylah and I are reading and listening to a CD. This book is "Grandpa's Magical Accordian" by my dear blogger friend, Jessica Errico and the music is by her husband, Tony Errico. Check it out here: http://3partharmony.org/ This would make a wonderful Christmas present for the little people in your life!

I am so filled with joy to see the world through the eyes of a child. Ethan is very close to walking on his own...and he loves to inch his way over to the tree! I can't believe he is my 4th grandchild! How'd THAT happen so fast??

Here he goes, sneaking up the steps...

But what goes up, must come down...he's "sliding"...

This photo came out a little dark, but it was so precious. It was only 15 degrees here in NE Ohio, and though they were excited to see a light snowfall, there was no way we could play outside!

Elylah begged me to promise she could do a few more cookies after a little nap. She is using her equipment and apron that Aunt Ellie gave her last year...I love having a helper in the kitchen after raising two boys and no daughters!

I helped her quickly whip up some frosting, and to save time, she just frosted and decorated some store bought, already baked sugar cookies. Worked for her, worked for me! She has her children's recipe book and I heard her muttering "Step One", "Step Two" etc. as she worked. She is just turning four on Christmas Eve, so she's not really reading yet. It was so cute!

I think part of the joy of grandparenting must come from the experience of seeing how fast our own children grew up and left the nest. (sniff, sniff)... I treasure each and every moment I have with the little ones, knowing how quickly it all will be a memory (sniff again). My SC family can't come up till New Year's weekend, with Andy have responsibilities at the church. So we will just be extending our Christmas season out another week or 10 days! I can't wait till they all get here and share some more pictures.

Highlights of a busy month in pictures...

Before I move on to Christmas things, I want to document a little of my life between the buns in the past month by posting some photos of the highlights. With this post I will officially say "good-bye" to a wonderful autumn season. I have been blessed by reading many wonderful blogs and seeing beautiful pictures that many have posted. I am so thankful for this technology that offers the ability to join lives across the nation and even around the world. I'm also very grateful to those more techy than I who share their gifts so generously. A heart felt THANK YOU to all who have chosen to link your lives with mine in the blogosphere. You have blessed me more than you can know! This past month has been an extremely busy one, as you can see by these highlights!

Here are some cute trick-or-treaters that came to our house...

Even the OSU coach stopped by...

And we met some new neighbors...

My grandaughter Elylah loved being Sleeping Beauty...

And my grandson Ethan was a skeleton...

While I was busy passing out candy to all these sweet children, a familiar car pulled into my driveway! My other two grandchildren arrived from South Carolina to spend a long weekend with us! I was so excited to see my daughter-in-law, Ellie, grandson Deacon (Thing One) and grandson Owen (Thing Two)!!! Wasn't she brave to drive 10 hours with the two boys? My son Andy couldn't get away this time.

So, here's the bunch that keep me young, or at least young at heart!

From left: Deacon, Elylah, (both 3) daughter-in-law Joanna, son Sam holding Ethan, (just turning one) daughter-in-law Ellie holding Owen (who will be two in Jan.)

While the boys were here, there were plenty of nice days left to play outside in the backyard. This picture of Deacon is one of my favorites:

And you can always count on Owen to smile for the camera:

Ethan won't fit in the baby swing next spring!

How about some "fall ball" with Deacon?

Elylah would really rather play in the leaves!

Three little monkeys...

Two budding artists...

Lunch with Amma Stager

And a visit to GG's condo...

(Deacon and Owen with my mom and my hubby)

How awesome they have two great grandmas here in Ohio!

Pretty soon, I will be taking all my techy questions to Deacon...

or to Elylah...

Shortly after the kids returned to SC, I had a friend over to make cut out cookies...

She has cerebral palsey so it was a bit of a challenge...but we managed and had a great time.

But the real challenge came when my son and daughter-in-law went away on vacation for 5 days and 4 nights, and we kept the two kids. We played musical beds, and they ate ice cream for breakfast one day. (I know, I can't believe it either!)

We baked cookies for Pre-School...

Made Christmas ornaments with GG...

Generally played and made lots of messes...

And at the end of the five days I definitely needed some rest!

But...it was time to celebrate Ethan's first birthday...

We had the party at my house, and Joanna and her mom furnished all the (yummy homemade Asian) food. Here I am with the other Grandma as Ethan enjoys his cake.

A few days later, it was Elylah's Pre-School's Thanksgiving luncheon and program.

And then, last but not least, Thanksgiving Day was celebrated in the party room of my mom's condo this year. It was different, but it worked out well. There ended up being 26 family members present. Before dinner, my nephew Robby gave a devotion.

Then he had each of us come up one at a time to place a piece of fruit in the cornucopia and tell one thing we were thankful for.

We had an elegant dinner on one side of the big room...

and there was plenty of space for all kinds of activities on the other side.

It was really a wonderful Thanksgiving Day!

This morning we woke up to this beautiful scene from our front door:

Our first snowfall of the season...

Which makes it easier to say good-bye to a lovely fall and begin to focus on what is ahead. I can't wait to get decorated for Christmas!