Life is good between the buns...

One of my sweet friends commented recently about my being on-the-go a lot lately.  It's true that life has been busy.  I'm still on my "grand-maternity leave" before I start babysitting again near the end of June.  So while I've been busy catching up with friends and family, organizing around the house, shopping, and doing some ministry-related things, I've had a little more "down time" than usual as well.  Mission accomplished!  My next goal is to find a regular time to read and write.  I may have to leave my house to do this...it seems there is always something to distract me from these things when I'm at home.  Anyone have a suggestion for me here?

In the meantime, let me share what I've been up to.  Our church recently changed it's name from Hudson Community Chapel to Christ Community Chapel.  The reason for this is because we now have four campuses in  four different cities within two adjoining counties. Our new name reflects our unity as one church in several locations.  Our newest campus is in the Highland Square area of Akron, OH and it has been up and running for about a month now.  Hubby and I have been showing our support by attending there, and trying to discern if it is where we should be for a season.  It's a very exciting time in the life of our church, to plant a campus in the middle of an ethnically and socially diverse area of the city.  There is much work to be done and much to learn, so if we end up there, it definitely will not be for the purpose of warming a pew.  Prayers for direction would be appreciated!

My hubby and I maintain a blog for our church's local outreach ministries, and we are part of the Local Outreach team as well.  So we get opportunities to hear, see, and do local ministry related things and we are learning all the time about folks who are serving and those being served.  One of the things I've done recently is help organize a team of ladies who are willing to make casseroles, soups, and cookies that are delivered once a month to Rahab Ministries in Akron. Currently our church supports eight local faith-based ministries, and we hope to expand that number in the future as God opens doors and opportunities.

Something I've been doing on my "grand maternity leave" is trying to get a little one-on-one time with the Ohio grands.  Ethan is almost 2 1/2, and we recently spent a day together.  He is a precious and smart little boy, strong and full of energy too! 

My time with baby Eva, now 5 1/2 weeks old, has been necessarily limited so far, but I've had little spurts of time with her now and then while her mommy runs a few errands.  She is adorable and growing so fast I can hardly stand it.

Eva's first Easter

Last weekend I was blessed by a friend to receive two tickets to the Ohio Ballet.  So it was a date for Elylah and me.  She loves the theater and we had a great time enjoying The Wizard of Oz!

Here is my friend, Kim, and her daughter Sarah, who played multiple roles in this performance.

 I can't forget to tell you I got to attend the ROYAL WEDDING!!!

OK, so it was from the comfort of my family room...I invited my mom and two friends, Rachel and Jennifer, and we enjoyed a little tea party while we watched!

Yesterday my mom and I and three of my aunts went out to lunch at a special Italian restaurant, Papa Joe's.  We basically were honoring my dad's sister, Aunt Angie, who will turn 92 next week.  Doesn't she look great?

Another of dad's sisters, Aunt Mary Ann, who turns 80 this year, and my mom, 82

me with an aunt-by-choice, Helen, 91, who is Aunt Angie's sister-in-law

I have to tell you that these mature ladies inspire me.  They are full of life, and always look put together.  Aunt Mary Ann still has her hubby, Uncle Ed, who has some health challenges.  The other three are widows and each still live in their own homes.  Mom doesn't drive at all anymore; Aunt Angie drives minimally.  Both of them suffer from macular degeneration but otherwise are quite healthy. Aunt Helen has such great vision that she doesn't even need reading glasses!

For the Mother's Day weekend kick-off, I went to a lovely tea today with my mother-in-law.  It was held at her church.

Olena Stager, 85

For entertainment, this group, The Stairwell Singers, sang a medley of sacred music.  They were accompanied by piano, flute, and cello. Now that was a real treat!

Life is good between the buns...the only thing that could make it better is for my South Carolina family to be visiting, which we are hoping will happen soon.  With their 3rd little boy just 5 1/2 weeks old, Ellie's bow tie business, and Andy just starting a new one year venture, being mentored by a church planter, I need to be  patient.  I know many of you are away from parts of your family too.  It doesn't get easier, does it?

Giving Myself a Break...

I've been talking about my need for white space (margin) in my life.  I've been doing a little better.  Part of the  need for margin is so we have time in our lives to rest or to be creative or to do things that are relaxing so we can restore body and soul.  Sometimes that means just giving ourselves permission to do what is pleasurable for ourselves. Everyone is different as to what form that might take.

Some of the things I miss when I allow myself to get too busied out with everyday life  are reading for pleasure, thrift store shopping, primping my house up, playing in my kitchen, and writing.  This past week I've done a little of all of these things.  In the process, I've regained a little of my sense of humor too.  That's a good thing.

Hubby and I took time out for a real date last Friday night.  After a nice steak dinner, we had the afterglow at our local Borders where I found the book of my dreams:

I've been having a lot of fun reading this book. Not only is it humorous, but I'm learning some good hints on how to dress to maximize what I have to work with.  Back when I had more time, I used to enjoy watching the TV show What Not to Wear with Stacy London and Clinton Kelley.  (I don't even know what channel it's on anymore.)  But instead of a $5000 shopping spree in New York City's best clothing stores, I headed on over to my favorite Salvation Army thrift shop yesterday and tried following the rules for my body shape.  I purchased four tops with V-necks and 3/4 sleeves similar to this Talbot's for $3 each:

While I was thrifting, I found a few other items.  I usually don't try to "bargain" at the thrift stores, but this time I did some "negotiating" just for the thrill of it~not at the Salvation Army store, but at another local thrift shop. This small wooden table, which I plan to use beside my chair in the family room, had a price tag of $7, and I was able to acquire it for merely $5.  All I need to do is cover the green paint with some barn red that we've used elsewhere in our kitchen.  I talked the store owner into giving me the blue painted frame for $1 instead of the $3 on the price tag, pointing out it was "just" a frame.  I plan to make a hair bow holder for my granddaughter as seen here.  The mug was unbeatable at 84 cents, a discount off the 99 cent price tag.  The mug is a Currier & Ives "The Homestead in Winter" design.  A friend had given me one for Christmas and so now hubby and I can drink hot chocolate next winter in matching mugs.  (After all, it's only 257 days till Christmas.)

Recently I was taken aback when visiting in a friend's home.  I noticed she had a bowl full of pretty Easter eggs sitting on her table.  I mean I temporarily became totally disoriented. (Remember I still have my Christmas cards in a basket on MY end table.)  Eventually I realized it is only two weeks 'till Easter and if I'm going to have any decorations out, I better get started.  So I dug out this wooden bunny that I had thrifted for a couple years ago, found these eggs and grass in a drawer and put it together in this cute basket I picked up yesterday for 49 cents.  (There, you can see the barn red paint I will use on the little table I just bought.)  Today I will change out the wreath on my front door for the one I made last spring, and I will hunt down the arrangement of daisys for my kitchen table. That will probably be the extent of my springtime decorating this year, but it will do.

As part of my "getting a grip" campaign, I finally got a much needed hair cut.  I've had trouble getting the cut I wanted and the last trip to the beauty shop was such a disaster, I let it grow out to be way too unmanageable. Hubby insisted on taking a photo this time for future reference.  It's still a little too short in places, but the general idea is there and I'm OK with it.

(An Ann Taylor thrifted V-neck)

In times of stress, I usually run to Jan Karon's novels.  She takes me into another world and I fantasize about living in a place like Mitford. Cynthia and Father Tim model for me the way I want to relate to people, with kindness and devotion.  Jan Karon's most recent book is on loan to me and I'm making time to read a little each day.

And to prove that I am regaining my sense of humor, I need to tell you a few family secrets.  Being Italian and all, we eat pasta of one kind or another frequently around here.  I try to have dinner ready when hubby walks in the door  when my priorities are not misplaced  as a rule.  Since he wears an ironed dress shirt to work, I've been making him take it off before he sits down to eat spaghetti sauce.  For a long time I've been saying that someone should make us some "adult" bibs.  Well, here they are:

When we were in South Carolina recently, my daughter-in-law handed these to me.  "You know how you're always saying you should have some adult bibs for when you eat spaghetti?  Well, a friend of mine makes these for the nursing home..."  We had a good laugh, and by golly, we've been using these things. They really make perfect sense!  (You ARE laughing, aren't you???)

But WAIT!  There's MORE!  Unbeknownst  to Ellie, I had already commissioned my cousin to make a custom spaghetti bib for hubby for his birthday last week.  She went all out, even making buttons out of clay that are plates of spaghetti & meatballs.  The "bow tie" is a napkin, and the little pocket holds wet naps. Along with the bib, hubby got a homemade spaghetti & meatball dinner.  You need to know that he is still speaking to me!

Our small group met this past Sunday evening, and I brought these "polka dot" cupcakes as a treat to honor Bob's birthday. They are really easy to make and taste so much better than a boxed mix.  (To find the recipe, you'll have to scroll through the post in the link, but you'll get there.)

So, you can see I've been doing some things I enjoy, and at a reasonable pace.  I've even had a couple of the grandkids over one-at-a-time and just for a couple of hours, because they too bring me much joy.

I hope you've enjoyed catching up with me, and I'm also in the process of catching up with MY blog reading.  I so appreciate the friendships and connections I've made through this amazing technology!  I don't take you for granted, gentle readers!  Are you preparing your hearts for a blessed Easter, friends?  In the midst of any chaos we may have going on in our lives, the words of Jesus still ring true...

"I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved.  They will come in and go out, and find pasture.  The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."  John 10:9-10 NIV

Creating Margin...

I know I have written on this subject before.  A couple times in fact.  (Click the label "margin" on my other blog if interested.)  Today I find myself reassessing once again.  My body and soul have been screaming for rest and restoration for weeks now.  Why is this such a constant, life-long battle?  I have no idea how the month of April has arrived when a basket of Christmas cards still sits on an end table in the family room.  Yet a fourth of the new year is already gone, and I find myself worrying the entire year will slip away without my feeling that I have lived it intentionally.

I've been doing a lot of soul-searching (again).  Why is there such disparity between what I know in my head to be true and what my heart longs for, and what my life really looks like if I am honest?  When left to my own devices I can sure make a mess of things and push myself till I am worn out physically and my body aches from head to toe.  Not only that, but emotionally I am ragged and lose my sense of humor and begin to think not of how to make the most of each day but more along the lines of how I can just get through it.  Spiritually I let myself get depleted as well during these times to the point it is hard to stay awake long enough to do any real praying or bible reading, things that I know would nourish my weary soul.

I came across this quote on the sidebar of Rebecca's blog and it has really grabbed me today:

"We simplify, not just to be less busy, even though we may be right to pursue that.  Rather, we simplify to remove distractions from our pursuit of Christ.  We prune activities from our lives, not only to get organized, but also that our devotion to Christ and service for His kingdom will be more fruitful.  We simplify, not merely to save time, but to eliminate hindrances to the time we devote to knowing Christ.  All the reasons we simplify should eventually lead us to Jesus Christ!" (Donald S. Whitney, Simplify Your Spiritual Life)

It's a hard thing to think that perhaps I am living my life with misplaced motives.  Do I struggle in this area because I merely want to save time and be more organized?  Because I want to do good deeds?  Or, even more dreadfully, because I want people to like me?  "For me to live is Christ..." say Paul in Philippians 1:21.  Does my life look anything like His?

Last night I lay in bed, contemplating what I might do to get a grip again.  I thought of all the things that I want to be a part of my life.  I think I will begin by making a list of those things and taking a hard look at them, and then examining my motives.  I know in my heart that there are many good things with which to fill my days, but I need to determine what are those things that God has ordained for me from before the foundation of the earth?  Have you ever honestly asked yourself that question?

The Amplified Bible says it this way in Ephesians 2:10:

"For we are God's own handiwork, His workmanship, recreated in Christ Jesus (born anew), that we may do those good works which God predestined (planned beforehand) for us, taking paths which He prepared ahead of time, that we should walk in them, living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us to live."

It is such a comfort to know that God himself has preplanned a good life for us to live when we choose the paths that He has prepared for us.  What are you doing to discover what specific good works God has prepared for you to walk in?  What do you do to regain balance when you feel things are getting out of control?

Awake my soul and smell the coffee...

I think it started about the time I turned 50 years of age. I really didn’t “feel” as old as the over-the-hill jokes that came my way implied I should. But I did the math and by no stretch of the imagination could I any longer consider myself “middle-aged”. I don’t personally know anyone who has turned 100 years old, though I know there are a few out there.

But, I certainly did not consider myself as “elderly” either. So what WAS I anyway? Or rather, WHERE was I on this timeline called life? While no one is guaranteed the number of years they will live on this earth, I decided to mentally divide up the years of life into quarters. In order for this to work, I had to make an assumption on the length of my life. So I picked 80 years. After all, the Bible says in Psalm 90:10:

“The length of our days is seventy years-

or eighty, if we have the strength...”

It will be noted that by choosing 80 years as my life span that I made another assumption too: that I would be one of the “strong” ones. If I’m granted any more years than 80, I would just consider it a plus. That’s where assumption number three comes into play. My grandparents and my parents have lived past the octogenarian mark. Surely I will too.

Next I decided to name the four quarters of life by using the names of the seasons. Up to age 20 would be called spring; 21 to 40 would be summer; 41 to 60 would be the autumn season; and 61 to 80 would be the winter of life. The term “elderly” would only apply to those past 80 who could no longer get around and live an active life. My only relative that met this criteria was my grandmother, and that was in her 93rd year.

All this kind of thinking took place about a dozen years ago. During the years since, thankfully I have become less preoccupied with trying to put my life on a timeline and figuring out where I might be. Instead, I have come to understand this with certainty: no matter how many years I might have left on this planet, they surely were fewer than the number of years I have already lived. And so I have been busy trying to live them to the fullest.

The shift in thinking was subtle, but very real. Somewhere along the way I have gained an increasing awareness that life is short no matter how long one might live, and that I wanted to major in the majors.

A lot has happened in my life since the year I turned 50. My kids grew up, went to college, got married, had kids of their own, and now have their own mortgages. My father died, my mother was declared legally blind, and I became a part-time care-giver for her and for a couple of my grandchildren. My empty nest doesn’t seem the least bit empty, I still get up early to make breakfast and see my husband off to work, and my car racks up as many miles as it did when I was a taxi driver for the kids. I’m playing with a life long dream by doing a little writing here and there, and I’m tending to my spiritual life daily. I have peace with God and make time to serve Him by serving others.

Some of my friends don’t approve of my lifestyle. Many of them think I should be living more for myself, whatever that means. Actually in many ways I am living more for myself...I’m doing the things that matter to me the most, even though my energy level obviously can’t compete with what it used to be.

I was talking to an older pastor’s wife a couple of years ago, and her advice was to “run the last lap the best”. And that is what I want to do. I want to live each day intentionally and with the full knowledge that every day is a gift. I want to keep a short account of offenses. I want to leave some kind of legacy that will matter to someone. I can’t assume anything about when my life on earth might end, except that it is inevitable that someday it will. And by my own definition, I am in the winter of my life. I’m OK with that.

Dear blogger friends, all...

Especially to Shirley, Brenda, Jess, Rose, Patrina, Rebecca, Wanda, Pat & Jamey who took the time to comment on my last post. I thank you all for those heartfelt thoughts and words. I appreciate each and every one of you and I felt like we were all sitting around a table, enjoying coffee and conversation. (Oh if that would ever be possible, how wonderful would that be!)

I do not consider blogger friendships to be "virtual" because they are really real! We may not have met in person, but we have shared our days and parts of our real lives with each other. When my hubby and I took a day trip recently to Northwest Ohio, I knew I was very close to Rebecca's stomping grounds, for example, and she was on my mind throughout that day! God can use methods we can't even conceive of to brighten our days and bless us in so many little ways. And blogger friendships have blessed me more than I can even begin to describe.

I thank you all for giving me "permission" to prioritize my days as I need to without having to feel like a failure for not keeping up with blogging the way my heart would take me if I let it run wild!

I never thought it would be like this when I got into my '60's...But my husband still works a full-time job an hour from home, which translates into 12 hour days for him, and precious little time for us to share on a daily basis.

As you know, I have the two grandchildren here 3 days a week. I don't try to do much of anything else when they are here except fully devote myself to them. From comments I have heard from those of you whose grands have grown up already, I'm getting the picture that grandparenting is much like parenting in the respect that those precious formative years are fleeting, and I want to make the most of every minute I have with them.

With part of our family living in South Carolina, we are constantly looking to the "next" time we can be together...which it looks like my daughter-in-love will bring the boys up here around Memorial Day! So more busyness coming up, but I will live intentionally through every moment of it and savor it like, uh, sweet tea!

My mom, who is 81 now, is facing more challenges as she continues to deal with widowhood, macular degeneration, forgetfulness, an increasing number of doctor appointments, and frustration at not being able to drive any longer. A good chunk of my time now goes to helping her get around. I'm grateful I am in a position to do this for her in spite of the physical and emotional components that go along with looking out for aging parents. Someone told me recently that "you'll never regret anything you do for your parents" and I know I feel that way about my dad, who has been gone for two years now. It is such a blessing not to have to live with regrets.

So it all brings me back to where I started originally with this blog: my life in the sandwich generation! While some have told me I don't "have" a life, I prefer to say, "this IS my life." And I thank you one and all for sharing it with me. God bless you!