Life Interrupted...

My world has been knocked off its axis.  No, it isn't about the ongoing unemployment.  That's just been a little bump in the road.  We've been down that road before, and eventually it will smooth out.  There are options we haven't even begun to explore.  Something will come together and we will survive unemployment one way or another.

A few weeks ago Bob and I were enjoying dinner at Olive Garden with my brother and his wife.  They were treating us in celebration of our 35th wedding anniversary.  Don winced every now and then...his back was still bothering him and physical therapy wasn't helping.  He was disappointed because he had hoped to be training for his 12th marathon. At age 59, he was the picture of health and vitality.  He had been running for fitness and stress relief  for decades.  But this new pain in his back was bringing all that to a screeching halt, and he was having all kinds of scans and tests run to see what was going on.

One night he ended up having to go to the ER, the pain was so great he felt he couldn't move.  He was admitted to the hospital for more tests and morphine.  A few days later he sent us a text message late at night.  "got the test results.  news not so good."  As my husband read the details to me, I was at first stunned and then angry.  I wanted to start throwing things.  I felt sick to my stomach.  I thought I was having a nightmare and I just wanted to wake up to my normal life again...life as it had been before this news.

I'd heard of multiple myeloma before. Our grandmother died from it 40 years ago.  It is an incurable blood cancer that settles in the bones.  It is very rare, representing only about 1% of all cancers.  And just a few years ago I had done a little research on the internet when I had a small tumor removed from my inner elbow area.  Mine was not malignant but I was curious as to the symptoms of multiple myeloma.  That was when I found out that in spite of many new experimental drugs, radiation and chemotherapy, not much progress has been made in finding a cure or in survival rates. Still, the doctors are saying this cancer is "very treatable".  So we hope.

In my brother's case, a tumor was found on his L5 vertebrae, and had in fact crushed it, causing the severe pain he is experiencing.  More scans, more tests...  The good news so far being the cancer has not metastasized in any other bones.   Chemotherapy begins in just a few days.

As I sat before my brother yesterday while he rested on the hospital bed that has been set up in their family room, he held both of my hands for a long time.  He is taking a liquid morphine every 2 hours so he faded in and out as we talked.  He wanted to tell me about the good things he sees happening already as a result of his suffering.  "God stories" as he calls them.  His faith is strong.  He is determined not to "waste his cancer".

We don't know where this road is leading.  It's not a journey any of us would choose to travel.  Only God knows the end from the beginning and the number of our days.  In spite of the shock, the pain, and the uncertainty, as individuals and as a family we will choose to say "Blessed be the name of the Lord."  And we would so appreciate your prayers for healing, for strength, for faith to remain strong through the storm.  Thank you friends.  I know you will.

 Don Lichi 

Sept. 2011

Help my unbelief!

Something has healed in me.   As I sat in church this past Sunday morning, it was just one of those times when God broke through and touched something deep inside.  

Being as old as I am and having been in the church my entire life, there are some things about being a Christian that I take for granted.  I know God is everywhere and is able to do anything.  I know Jesus paid an awful cost to seal my redemption.  I know there is an eternity beyond this life and though much of that is a mystery, I rest in knowing I will be there and it will be good.  

If I'm honest, I also know there is a lot about God that my heart just doesn't fully comprehend, claim, or appropriate.  In my mind, Christianity is a package deal, and I'm sold.  When I read the words of Scripture, I know every one is trustworthy and true.  But somehow there are still truths and promises that I block my soul from fully receiving.  Why, I do not know.  I have no trouble claiming them for others.  I have a sneaky suspicion I may not be alone in this.

But as I was worshipping last Sunday, the familiar 23rd Psalm came to my mind.  And this is how the words played:

"The Lord is MY Shepherd, I~SHALL~NOT~WANT" 
"He maketh ME to lie down in green pastures"
"He restoreth MY soul"
"He leadeth ME in the paths of righteousness..."

on and on and finally...

"Surely GOODNESS and MERCY shall follow ME... ALL~THE~DAYS~OF~MY~LIFE..."

Friends, I've been living in the valley for a while now.  It's so easy to become discouraged when I'm feeling weak, tired and worn out by the storms of life.  Circumstances these past months have taken me almost to the breaking point at times when I've allowed myself to indulge in self-pity and worry.  With my head I fully have known there are so many others in much dire life situations, yet my heart still cried out "how much longer, Lord?  How many more roller coaster rides before things normalize again?"

Don't get me wrong.  The temptation to look at circumstances and fall into a sea of despair is still there.  I don't see any hard evidence our economy is getting any better.  Every time I turn around it seems someone else I know has lost their job~and all too often it seems that older employees have a target on their backs.  It's easy to lose hope...

unless..

we turn our focus back to the One who is all about goodness and mercy, and take hold of the truth of His Word.  That's where hope is found.  Thank you God for reminding me again.

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me." ~Philippians 3:12

One Big Fish Story...

Along with 14 million other Americans, we're still dealing with the reality of unemployment around here.  This is our third round in the last nine years, and in all honesty, it's been the hardest emotionally and psychologically. Financially we are still surviving ~ it's been almost four months so far.  Obviously we can't go on forever without an income, but for now we are ok.  

The first time it happened and lived through it I told many people "we survived but we'd never make it a second time."  Not exactly a statement of faith or thankfulness, was it? When it happened the second time, I said, "Lord, I was just KIDDING!" And again, our needs were met and we survived.  When it happened again this year, I admit I've been pretty stunned.  The previous two times set us back financially right at the time of life where we are supposed to be thinking of saving for our retirement years.  With the economy in the dire shape it's in, it has been a whole new ball game for my hubby trying to maneuver his way through the job search process. Companies are thread bare with the employees they have, yet they are reluctant to invest in additional staff because of the dismal world-wide economic forecasts.  

And so we wait.  We wait on the Lord for His provision.  We seek to discern His wisdom and direction.  We work.  Hubby treats every day as if it were a normal work day.  He gets dressed and into his office early in the morning and stays there until quit time.  He researches, he tweeks his resume, he answers ads, he takes tests, he networks, he applies for positions, and the next day he gets up and does it all over again.  So far, the net has caught no real fish.

Last night I read a familiar Bible story that has given me strength for today.  It is found in Luke chapter 5.  Peter, James, and John, a couple of career fishermen who lived 2000 years ago, were doing what they always did.  They worked all night long in the cold and dark from their fishing boats, casting their nets but they kept coming up empty.  No doubt discouragement set in.  They were already cleaning up their equipment at the end of a fruitless time of labor.  But Jesus had His eye on them.  He told them to go out into the deeper water and let their nets down.  Peter answered him, saying, "Master we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything.  But because you say so I will let down the nets."  

We all know the rest of the story.  The fishing nets were so full they were breaking.  Peter had to signal his partners to come and help him.  And then it hit him.  This man Jesus was more than a teacher.  He was one who could perform a miracle in his time of discouragement and need.  In fact, Peter was so astonished that he said, "Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!"  He realized that he was small and sinful compared to this big and mighty God-man.

I don't know what the outcome will be of our present frustration, and yes anxiety of our time of not knowing where our next paycheck will come from.  But this I do know:  Our story will end well.  This same fisherman Peter turned fisher-of-men Peter, wrote these words of hope: 

 "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!  In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade.  This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time." I Peter 1:3-5

Did you catch that? Because of our merciful God we have a living hope and an inheritance that can never be taken away.  Until then, we are shielded by God's power.  We do know how our story will end, and it is all good.  It's sort of like watching a movie that gets scary and makes your heart beat faster at times...but you know the story ends well,  so you can go ahead and endure, even enjoy watching it.  

Said another way:  "Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."  II Corinthians 4:16-18

Life is good between the buns...

One of my sweet friends commented recently about my being on-the-go a lot lately.  It's true that life has been busy.  I'm still on my "grand-maternity leave" before I start babysitting again near the end of June.  So while I've been busy catching up with friends and family, organizing around the house, shopping, and doing some ministry-related things, I've had a little more "down time" than usual as well.  Mission accomplished!  My next goal is to find a regular time to read and write.  I may have to leave my house to do this...it seems there is always something to distract me from these things when I'm at home.  Anyone have a suggestion for me here?

In the meantime, let me share what I've been up to.  Our church recently changed it's name from Hudson Community Chapel to Christ Community Chapel.  The reason for this is because we now have four campuses in  four different cities within two adjoining counties. Our new name reflects our unity as one church in several locations.  Our newest campus is in the Highland Square area of Akron, OH and it has been up and running for about a month now.  Hubby and I have been showing our support by attending there, and trying to discern if it is where we should be for a season.  It's a very exciting time in the life of our church, to plant a campus in the middle of an ethnically and socially diverse area of the city.  There is much work to be done and much to learn, so if we end up there, it definitely will not be for the purpose of warming a pew.  Prayers for direction would be appreciated!

My hubby and I maintain a blog for our church's local outreach ministries, and we are part of the Local Outreach team as well.  So we get opportunities to hear, see, and do local ministry related things and we are learning all the time about folks who are serving and those being served.  One of the things I've done recently is help organize a team of ladies who are willing to make casseroles, soups, and cookies that are delivered once a month to Rahab Ministries in Akron. Currently our church supports eight local faith-based ministries, and we hope to expand that number in the future as God opens doors and opportunities.

Something I've been doing on my "grand maternity leave" is trying to get a little one-on-one time with the Ohio grands.  Ethan is almost 2 1/2, and we recently spent a day together.  He is a precious and smart little boy, strong and full of energy too! 

My time with baby Eva, now 5 1/2 weeks old, has been necessarily limited so far, but I've had little spurts of time with her now and then while her mommy runs a few errands.  She is adorable and growing so fast I can hardly stand it.

Eva's first Easter

Last weekend I was blessed by a friend to receive two tickets to the Ohio Ballet.  So it was a date for Elylah and me.  She loves the theater and we had a great time enjoying The Wizard of Oz!

Here is my friend, Kim, and her daughter Sarah, who played multiple roles in this performance.

 I can't forget to tell you I got to attend the ROYAL WEDDING!!!

OK, so it was from the comfort of my family room...I invited my mom and two friends, Rachel and Jennifer, and we enjoyed a little tea party while we watched!

Yesterday my mom and I and three of my aunts went out to lunch at a special Italian restaurant, Papa Joe's.  We basically were honoring my dad's sister, Aunt Angie, who will turn 92 next week.  Doesn't she look great?

Another of dad's sisters, Aunt Mary Ann, who turns 80 this year, and my mom, 82

me with an aunt-by-choice, Helen, 91, who is Aunt Angie's sister-in-law

I have to tell you that these mature ladies inspire me.  They are full of life, and always look put together.  Aunt Mary Ann still has her hubby, Uncle Ed, who has some health challenges.  The other three are widows and each still live in their own homes.  Mom doesn't drive at all anymore; Aunt Angie drives minimally.  Both of them suffer from macular degeneration but otherwise are quite healthy. Aunt Helen has such great vision that she doesn't even need reading glasses!

For the Mother's Day weekend kick-off, I went to a lovely tea today with my mother-in-law.  It was held at her church.

Olena Stager, 85

For entertainment, this group, The Stairwell Singers, sang a medley of sacred music.  They were accompanied by piano, flute, and cello. Now that was a real treat!

Life is good between the buns...the only thing that could make it better is for my South Carolina family to be visiting, which we are hoping will happen soon.  With their 3rd little boy just 5 1/2 weeks old, Ellie's bow tie business, and Andy just starting a new one year venture, being mentored by a church planter, I need to be  patient.  I know many of you are away from parts of your family too.  It doesn't get easier, does it?

Giving Myself a Break...

I've been talking about my need for white space (margin) in my life.  I've been doing a little better.  Part of the  need for margin is so we have time in our lives to rest or to be creative or to do things that are relaxing so we can restore body and soul.  Sometimes that means just giving ourselves permission to do what is pleasurable for ourselves. Everyone is different as to what form that might take.

Some of the things I miss when I allow myself to get too busied out with everyday life  are reading for pleasure, thrift store shopping, primping my house up, playing in my kitchen, and writing.  This past week I've done a little of all of these things.  In the process, I've regained a little of my sense of humor too.  That's a good thing.

Hubby and I took time out for a real date last Friday night.  After a nice steak dinner, we had the afterglow at our local Borders where I found the book of my dreams:

I've been having a lot of fun reading this book. Not only is it humorous, but I'm learning some good hints on how to dress to maximize what I have to work with.  Back when I had more time, I used to enjoy watching the TV show What Not to Wear with Stacy London and Clinton Kelley.  (I don't even know what channel it's on anymore.)  But instead of a $5000 shopping spree in New York City's best clothing stores, I headed on over to my favorite Salvation Army thrift shop yesterday and tried following the rules for my body shape.  I purchased four tops with V-necks and 3/4 sleeves similar to this Talbot's for $3 each:

While I was thrifting, I found a few other items.  I usually don't try to "bargain" at the thrift stores, but this time I did some "negotiating" just for the thrill of it~not at the Salvation Army store, but at another local thrift shop. This small wooden table, which I plan to use beside my chair in the family room, had a price tag of $7, and I was able to acquire it for merely $5.  All I need to do is cover the green paint with some barn red that we've used elsewhere in our kitchen.  I talked the store owner into giving me the blue painted frame for $1 instead of the $3 on the price tag, pointing out it was "just" a frame.  I plan to make a hair bow holder for my granddaughter as seen here.  The mug was unbeatable at 84 cents, a discount off the 99 cent price tag.  The mug is a Currier & Ives "The Homestead in Winter" design.  A friend had given me one for Christmas and so now hubby and I can drink hot chocolate next winter in matching mugs.  (After all, it's only 257 days till Christmas.)

Recently I was taken aback when visiting in a friend's home.  I noticed she had a bowl full of pretty Easter eggs sitting on her table.  I mean I temporarily became totally disoriented. (Remember I still have my Christmas cards in a basket on MY end table.)  Eventually I realized it is only two weeks 'till Easter and if I'm going to have any decorations out, I better get started.  So I dug out this wooden bunny that I had thrifted for a couple years ago, found these eggs and grass in a drawer and put it together in this cute basket I picked up yesterday for 49 cents.  (There, you can see the barn red paint I will use on the little table I just bought.)  Today I will change out the wreath on my front door for the one I made last spring, and I will hunt down the arrangement of daisys for my kitchen table. That will probably be the extent of my springtime decorating this year, but it will do.

As part of my "getting a grip" campaign, I finally got a much needed hair cut.  I've had trouble getting the cut I wanted and the last trip to the beauty shop was such a disaster, I let it grow out to be way too unmanageable. Hubby insisted on taking a photo this time for future reference.  It's still a little too short in places, but the general idea is there and I'm OK with it.

(An Ann Taylor thrifted V-neck)

In times of stress, I usually run to Jan Karon's novels.  She takes me into another world and I fantasize about living in a place like Mitford. Cynthia and Father Tim model for me the way I want to relate to people, with kindness and devotion.  Jan Karon's most recent book is on loan to me and I'm making time to read a little each day.

And to prove that I am regaining my sense of humor, I need to tell you a few family secrets.  Being Italian and all, we eat pasta of one kind or another frequently around here.  I try to have dinner ready when hubby walks in the door  when my priorities are not misplaced  as a rule.  Since he wears an ironed dress shirt to work, I've been making him take it off before he sits down to eat spaghetti sauce.  For a long time I've been saying that someone should make us some "adult" bibs.  Well, here they are:

When we were in South Carolina recently, my daughter-in-law handed these to me.  "You know how you're always saying you should have some adult bibs for when you eat spaghetti?  Well, a friend of mine makes these for the nursing home..."  We had a good laugh, and by golly, we've been using these things. They really make perfect sense!  (You ARE laughing, aren't you???)

But WAIT!  There's MORE!  Unbeknownst  to Ellie, I had already commissioned my cousin to make a custom spaghetti bib for hubby for his birthday last week.  She went all out, even making buttons out of clay that are plates of spaghetti & meatballs.  The "bow tie" is a napkin, and the little pocket holds wet naps. Along with the bib, hubby got a homemade spaghetti & meatball dinner.  You need to know that he is still speaking to me!

Our small group met this past Sunday evening, and I brought these "polka dot" cupcakes as a treat to honor Bob's birthday. They are really easy to make and taste so much better than a boxed mix.  (To find the recipe, you'll have to scroll through the post in the link, but you'll get there.)

So, you can see I've been doing some things I enjoy, and at a reasonable pace.  I've even had a couple of the grandkids over one-at-a-time and just for a couple of hours, because they too bring me much joy.

I hope you've enjoyed catching up with me, and I'm also in the process of catching up with MY blog reading.  I so appreciate the friendships and connections I've made through this amazing technology!  I don't take you for granted, gentle readers!  Are you preparing your hearts for a blessed Easter, friends?  In the midst of any chaos we may have going on in our lives, the words of Jesus still ring true...

"I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved.  They will come in and go out, and find pasture.  The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."  John 10:9-10 NIV