Celebrating 35 years of grace...

*I told "our story" on here two years ago.  I thought it was worthy of republishing today, our 35th wedding anniversary~not because we are anything special, but because it truly is a story of God's grace and love.

September 25, 1976 was a beautiful, sunny fall day, with a hint of summer still lingering in the air. It was also our wedding day, and rather unconventional as far as wedding days go. We were a little older, being 27 and 28, and both of us had been pretty disillusioned from previous relationships, and so when we decided we wanted to get married, we set out to do it simply and "our" way.

We had been high school friends, but had gone our separate ways for almost a decade before we dated seriously for two years. Our little secret is that one Friday night while enjoying pizza, we started playing "footsie" under the table, and, well, the rest is history.

We gave our families exactly 12 days notice of the time and place. We found a preacher, a Reverand Jacobs, who we were told would "marry anybody". He was connected with Kent State University's campus ministry somehow, and we had friends who had used him. We had exactly one pre-marital counseling session with him, which consisted of a little questionnaire he gave us to see if we were compatible. Then we talked about what we wanted the ceremony to look like, and he showed us several formats from a collection in a notebook. As we leafed through them, he told us if we found one we liked but it had "too much God" in it, he could always customize it more to our liking.

We ended up writing our own, changing the traditional vows that say we would stay married "till death do us part" to "as long as our love shall last". We threw in some familiar scripture verses, including the passage from I Corinthians 13 about love. Then we found a friend of a friend who would play some guitar music, and sing some songs from the '70's like "Morning has Broken" and "The Wedding Song". I stopped at a florist on the way to the ceremony and bought some flowers and candles, we had the marriage license, the rings, and we were all set.

Our immediate family and a couple close friends were the only guests in attendance. My parents hosted a small reception in their home, and at my request, my mom made us stuffed cabbage rolls and mashed potatoes, and I can't remember where the cake came from.

We were in the middle of real estate training classes at the time, so we didn't even go away on a honeymoon. Instead, Bob moved into my apartment, which he tolerated for exactly one week, and then we put an offer in on our first little house.

Thus began the journey of our lives together. While we started out thinking we were in full control of our destiny, little did we know that God had a plan for us. Because as you can see from the above description of how we started out, even though we knew better, we were not really acknowledging God's presence in our lives or inviting Him into our marriage. Neither of us were living our lives to God's glory. We just wanted to live happily ever after, but we had no clue how to achieve that.

Looking back, it was really nothing but a recipe for disaster! It always is when we try to put ourselves at the steering wheel. I share all of this because today we can look back and see God's amazing grace has been at work in us in spite of ourselves.

During the first year of our marriage, God put some friends in our lives who invited us to church, a different denomination from the one I had grown up in and felt alienated from, and it was there that God wooed me back to Him right away. It took Bob another year or so. I'll never forget the night the pastor called him and asked if he could come and visit at our home. Bob's answer made me want to crawl under the floorboards: "you're welcome to come and visit, but don't expect me to join your institution." But this faithful minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ came anyway, and he and Bob hit it off right away. Before long, we were attending an"inquirer's class", which was a non-threatening way of saying "Basic Christianity 101".

Bob began reading the Bible from cover to cover, literally. God was at work in both of our hearts. We were surrounded by a group of people from the new church who loved us and taught us. We began to grow spiritually. By the time we were expecting our first child, we drove a stake once and for all that we were committed to living not for ourselves, but for the One who died to save us from ourselves. We received God's gift of grace in our lives and have never looked back. Scripture tells us that God's paths are beyond tracing out. (Romans 11:33) We don't know how He accomplished this in our lives, but we know that He did it. Left to our own devices, our marriage most certainly would have failed. We are so grateful that He saw fit to save us.

The Wedding Song (There is Love)

by Paul Stookey

He is now to be among you at the calling of your hearts
Rest assured this troubadour is acting on His part.
The union of your spirits, here, has caused Him to remain
For whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name
There is Love,
there is Love.

A man shall leave his mother and a woman leave her home
And they shall travel on to where the two shall be as one.
As it was in the beginning is now and til the end
Woman draws her life from man and gives it back again.
And there is Love,
there is Love.

Well then what's to be the reason for becoming man and wife?
Is it love that brings you here or love that brings you life?
For if loving is the answer, then who's the giving for?
Do you believe in something that you've never seen before?
Oh there is Love,
there is Love.

Oh the marriage of your spirits here has caused Him to remain
For whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name
There is Love,
there is Love.

Her majesty Victoria...

Hubby and I enjoy cheap dates in a variety of ways, and we often pick up a flick and a pizza and have our Friday date night in the comfort of our own home.

While I am neither a royal historian nor a movie critic, I would like to recommend a movie that we rented from Blockbuster last weekend. If you haven't seen The Young Victoria, you should. The movie was first produced in England and released in the United States this year.

The historical setting for the movie is 1836 - 1840. Though Victoria is remembered as long reigning dour widow who spent most of her years dressed in black, this movie seeks to uncover her early life and recall her romantic courtship and legendary marriage to Prince Albert.

Photo by Liam Daniel

Emily Blunt and Rupert Friend are stunning in both their acting and in their costumes. We got a couple hour's worth of entertainment as well as a great history lesson for about $3. While the movie is rated PG, we found it to be wholesome and redemptive in nature.

The royal wedding of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert on February 10, 1840

Picture is in the public domain

for my hubby...

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY !

Who would have ever thought way back when we were 16 and 17 and "just friends" in high school, that all these years later we would be together, sharing a life of love and still making memories? I love you more each year and thank God every day for you! He has been so good to us!

"Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup, you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance." Psalm 16:-5-6.

where the rubber meets the road...

This is a saying well known in the Akron, Ohio area, the former rubber capitol of the world, and one that is still used in everyday conversation. It came from an old TV commercial first used back in the 1960's by The Firestone Tire and Rubber Company. It was a jingle that went like this:

"Where ever wheels are rolling,

no matter what the load,

the name that's known is Firestone,

where the rubber meets the road."

In everyday usage, the phrase "where the rubber meets the road" has come to describe the gravity of a situation or the fact that there is no getting around a circumstance. In other words, something like "this is reality".

That is how I'm feeling today about the extended family situation that has pained me. There is no getting around what is happening. I can't pretend this is all going to go away anytime soon.

I'm taking a leap of faith here that I will not be judged too harshly by my friends in the blogosphere because of my beliefs. I know many of you are like-minded sisters in Christ and will stand by me. But I'm opening up because I really do need your prayers.

The facts are these: I have a 29 year old niece who has been living a lesbian lifestyle. Both she and her girlfriend are really very nice people, and fun to be around. I don't dislike them at all. I just dislike what they are doing. It would pain me enough if they just kept their lifestyle to themselves, but they are intent on being very in-your-face about it all. They have taken it to levels that is, for me, quite beyond belief.

So, this Saturday they are planning to go to Mexico where they can "legally" be "married". They've been publishing this on Facebook for quite some time now, yet no one bothered to sit down with my almost 81 year old mother to talk to her personally about this. Instead she, like the rest of the family, has received a printed invitation to a reception to celebrate their "union". May I say this really appalls me?

There has been a "bridal" shower given to my niece by her friends at work. I saw something about a "bachelorette" party. She's posted about her "wedding" dress.

If that weren't enough, they have already been to a lawyer to start procedures that will legally combine their surnames, which in effect corrupts my family name. It is not a given that this will actually happen, being as gay "marriage" is still illegal in Ohio.

Then there is the talk about someday having "cute lezzie kids". I have no idea if this is serious talk or not. But it wouldn't surprise me. So will there be baby showers and the like? Where does this all lead?

Now, I'm not opposed to love, happiness, and all of that. And please no speeches about this kind of thing is happening more and more and is becoming more accepted.

And all of you who have an understanding of where I'm coming from on this already know WHY I believe the way I do. I am a Bible-believing Christian who understands that marriage is a holy union that was ordained by God to be between one man and one woman, for life. Have many of us failed to achieve this standard? You bet. Are we forgiven, restored? Absolutely, many of us are, when we have turned our hearts to the cross and received wholeness in Christ. When we finally give up our self-serving attitudes and realize we do not exist to live to ourselves but for the One who died to save us from our sins.

I'm not writing here to expound on all the reasons why I believe gay "marriage" is wrong. I believe it is self-evident. But I am writing because I need to be honest with myself about what is happening in my family.

My son, who is a pastor, has told me not to take a victim's attitude. In other words, I do not need to hang my head in shame over what someone close to me has chosen to do. The only attitude that is appropriate for me to have is one of a broken spirit, remembering my own sins, and trying to show Christ's love in my dealings with them.

These two young women are not open to hearing about how what they are doing is dangerously against God's law. I would be wasting my breath and creating further distance in our relationships to try to talk to them about that.

Some of my family members are already making preparations to attend the reception. My conscience will not allow me to attend. I cannot celebrate something that I totally do not believe in. I'm feeling somewhat like I'm standing alone on an issue that should be such a no-brainer to my family. This has me a little confused, and dismayed.

I pray that I will not compromise on my beliefs, yet I also pray that I will not compromise on what is required of me in spite of my obvious dismay over the situation. I am commanded to love. Please pray for me, that I can show love. That's really where the rubber meets the road.

"Be holy, because I am holy." I Peter 1:16

"...as I have loved you, you must love one another..." John 13:34

Celebrating 33 years of grace...

September 25, 1976 was a beautiful, sunny fall day, with a hint of summer still lingering in the air. It was also our wedding day, and rather unconventional as far as wedding days go. We were a little older, being 27 and 28, and both of us had been pretty disillusioned from previous relationships, and so when we decided we wanted to get married, we set out to do it simply and "our" way.

We had been high school friends, but had gone our separate ways for almost a decade before we dated seriously for two years. Our little secret is that one Friday night while enjoying pizza, we started playing "footsie" under the table, and, well, the rest is history.

We gave our families exactly 12 days notice of the time and place. We found a preacher, a Reverand Jacobs, who we were told would "marry anybody". He was connected with Kent State University's campus ministry somehow, and we had friends who had used him. We had exactly one pre-marital counseling session with him, which consisted of a little questionnaire he gave us to see if we were compatible. Then we talked about what we wanted the ceremony to look like, and he showed us several formats from a collection in a notebook. As we leafed through them, he told us if we found one we liked but it had "too much God" in it, he could always customize it more to our liking.

We ended up writing our own, changing the traditional vows that say we would stay married "till death do us part" to "as long as our love shall last". We threw in some familiar scripture verses, including the passage from I Corinthians 13 about love. Then we found a friend of a friend who would play some guitar music, and sing some songs from the '70's like "Morning has Broken" and "The Wedding Song". I stopped at a florist on the way to the ceremony and bought some flowers and candles, we had the marriage license, the rings, and we were all set.

Our immediate family and a couple close friends were the only guests in attendance. My parents hosted a small reception in their home, and at my request, my mom made us stuffed cabbage rolls and mashed potatoes, and I can't remember where the cake came from.

We were in the middle of real estate training classes at the time, so we didn't even go away on a honeymoon. Instead, Bob moved into my apartment, which he tolerated for exactly one week, and then we put an offer in on our first little house.

Thus began the journey of our lives together. While we started out thinking we were in full control of our destiny, little did we know that God had a plan for us. Because as you can see from the above description of how we started out, even though we knew better, we were not really acknowledging God's presence in our lives or inviting Him into our marriage. Neither of us were living our lives to God's glory. We just wanted to live happily ever after, but we had no clue how to achieve that.

Looking back, it was really nothing but a recipe for disaster! It always is when we try to put ourselves at the steering wheel. I share all of this because today we can look back and see God's amazing grace has been at work in us in spite of ourselves.

During the first year of our marriage, God put some friends in our lives who invited us to church, a different denomination from the one I had grown up in and felt alienated from, and it was there that God wooed me back to Him right away. It took Bob another year or so. I'll never forget the night the pastor called him and asked if he could come and visit at our home. Bob's answer made me want to crawl under the floorboards: "you're welcome to come and visit, but don't expect me to join your institution." But this faithful minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ came anyway, and he and Bob hit it off right away. Before long, we were attending an"inquirer's class", which was a non-threatening way of saying "Basic Christianity 101".

Bob began reading the Bible from cover to cover, literally. God was at work in both of our hearts. We were surrounded by a group of people from the new church who loved us and taught us. We began to grow spiritually. By the time we were expecting our first child, we drove a stake once and for all that we were committed to living not for ourselves, but for the One who died to save us from ourselves. We received God's gift of grace in our lives and have never looked back. Scripture tells us that God's paths are beyond tracing out. (Romans 11:33) We don't know how He accomplished this in our lives, but we know that He did it. Left to our own devices, our marriage most certainly would have failed. We are so grateful that He saw fit to save us.

The Wedding Song (There is Love)

by Paul Stookey

He is now to be among you at the calling of your hearts
Rest assured this troubadour is acting on His part.
The union of your spirits, here, has caused Him to remain
For whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name
There is Love,
there is Love.

A man shall leave his mother and a woman leave her home
And they shall travel on to where the two shall be as one.
As it was in the beginning is now and til the end
Woman draws her life from man and gives it back again.
And there is Love,
there is Love.

Well then what's to be the reason for becoming man and wife?
Is it love that brings you here or love that brings you life?
For if loving is the answer, then who's the giving for?
Do you believe in something that you've never seen before?
Oh there is Love,
there is Love.

Oh the marriage of your spirits here has caused Him to remain
For whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name
There is Love,
there is Love.

Five Words...

My blogging friend, Pat, has sent me five words that I am to write about. If you would also like to play along, let me know and I in turn will send you five words! OK, let's go!

MARRIAGE:

This week my hubby and I celebrate our 33rd wedding anniversary! We were friends in high school, but each went our separate ways for a while after that. The fact that we got together and joined our lives is a miracle with it's own story for another time.

I have no idea how a marriage can survive without God being at the epicenter. A few years ago billboards were popular that proclaimed "messages" from God. One that stuck with me was: "Loved the wedding...invite me to the marriage"--God. Weddings today can be very elaborate events that can cause a lot of stress and cost a lot of money. All the work and preparations are over in a matter of a couple hours. But what is left is the marriage...the union of two lives.

A real marriage happens when each of the parties stop thinking in terms of "I" and start thinking in terms of "We". God has said "the two shall be one".

There is so much more to be said about marriage but in the interest of keeping this short I would like to highlight the book Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. Think about this question from him: "What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?" I believe it is true. Through our marriages, we are to demonstrate to the world what God's love looks like. When marriage vows are broken, a corrupted and inaccurate view of God is displayed.

NEIGHBORS:

I am going to have to admit that this word can put me on a guilt trip. I don't often feel like I am a very good neighbor. I have a huge and close extended family and a large church family as well as my own busy life that involve most of my time. Now don't get me wrong, I'm a friendly person. I wave to anyone I see out in the neighborhood, and I'll even chat with them now and then. But I don't feel particularly close to most of my neighbors. The ones we were close to when we were all moving into the new allotment around the same time almost 15 years ago are mostly all gone by now, except for us. Neighborhoods today seem so transitory, and at least for me, it takes time to develop friendships.

In Luke chapter 10, Jesus was asked directly: "Who is my neighbor?" Jesus proceeded to tell the familiar story of the good Samaritan. From this, and from other passages of Scripture that talk about "neighbors" I have concluded that the real definition of "neighbor" has more to do with people whose lives somehow intersect with ours, if even momentarily. In other words, the person standing in front of us at the grocery store can be our "neighbor". How do we act if they are taking a long time or if they don't have enough money to pay? What about the waitress who is serving us at a restaurant, who seems grouchy or unhappy? Do we offer a smile or a kind word, or are we more inclined to report them to management?

"Love your neighbor as much as yourself." I'm working on it.

AROMA:

Now here is a word I really like! i.e. "Smell the aroma of good coffee" or "aromatherapy" (my favorite fragrance being eucalyptus spearmint). II Corinthians 2:15 says that those who are being saved are to God the "aroma of Christ". Whenever our small group meets in our home, I try to remember to pray ahead of time, that the Holy Spirit will fill the rooms with His sweet aroma and that all who enter our home will be blessed. It has been amazing to sense the very presence of God in our midst when this happens.

YOUTH:

When I think of this word, I usually think of how far I've moved down the path of life from my own! We used to sing a song in church "Give of your best to the Master, Give of the strength of your youth"...Well ain't THAT the truth! When I look back through the decades and think of all the things I used to be able to do with great ease I am amazed. How did I ever DO all that stuff and still work outside the home and raise a family? I still enjoy doing a holiday dinner for anywhere from 10-30 family and friends, but I'm pretty much toast for at least a week afterwards!

Another way that I look at this word has to do with the way our culture worships youthfulness. I mean look at all the advertising for clothing. I just read that tight legging style stretch pants are coming back into fashion. Well, not for this grandma they aren't!

And with all the health care debate going on in our country, I am beginning to fear the sick and elderly will be regarded as less and less as deserving of expensive medical treatment.

And what I would give to be able to sit with my grandparents or my father just one more time and hear their words of wisdom. Oh that our society could respect and value what the elderly among us could teach us.

Our days of youth can be wonderful and exciting, but they are fleeting. I wouldn't want to go back without the experience and wisdom I've gained through aging, but I sure could use a strong dose of youthful energy!

INDIFFERENCE:

Here's a word with negative connotations. We see indifference all around us in our world today. Our lives are just too filled up and too busy it seems to really connect with people in a meaningful way. Indifference is like ignoring.

And its not only the development of meaningful relationships that we often ignore, but we are also indifferent to the most obvious things going on in our world. Child abuse, the poor, the handicapped, vulgarity, coarse language, cheating, oh the list could go on forever.

Perhaps the opposite of indifference would be courage. Courage to confront, to get involved, courage to make a difference in someone's life.

Of course we can't change the whole world. But we do have a choice about our reaction to situations within our own sphere of influence. I love the story about the man walking along the beach, picking up star fish that had washed up onto the shoreline, and one by one tossing them back into the water. His friend asked, "Why are you doing that? You think tossing a few of them back to the ocean can make a difference?" The man answered, "well it made a difference for THAT one."